Dogless and Loveless

Originally posted to the LPF on 10/13/2006.

This is my favorite record company picture. It hails from a "golden" age when the novelty of recorded music swept the civilized world. His Master's Voice is both the title and caption that generally accompanies this image, although I like to think that What the Fuck? is a better translation of what Mr. dog is actually thinking. It's a cute picture. Heartworming, for sure. But what is not so well known is that Mr. dog, after listening happily and avidly for about five seconds, succumbed to his truer calling, hiked his leg, and thoroughly compromised the integrity of very art that had charmed him. Disappointed, and unable to amaze his dog friends with this wondrous discovery (not to mention make money off the thing), Mr. dog then began to make certain alterations to the ruined device, using both tooth and paw, with hopes of restoring its former glory. Sadly, these continued efforts only made things worse... sniff sniff.

It is the second part of this story that serves as the metaphor for the modern Record Company, who, in their highly scientific approach to art, did finally succeed in developing a methodology to reconstitute what their very presence destroys. Unfortunately, it takes 4.333 million dog years to equal four minutes and twenty seconds of inspired work by a talented artist, as illustrated by the following (and my new favorite) Record Company photo.

The solution?

Well, the dogs are obviously a pain in the ass... So getting rid of those fucks would be a good start. That said, it is not a requirement that a brilliant, visionary musician remain utterly "dogless and loveless" in order to maintain her artistic integrity (although we've seen that work). No. Great art can prevail, but only if it wags the dog, as illustrated by the picture down below:

for more information on nipper the dog, visit Captol record headquarters and ask for Andy. Alternatively, visit the following website: http://www.cedmagic.com/home/nipperscape/nipper.html