Liz and the Flag

[harkrider]

This was posted on the LPF back in October 2006, in response to someone asking:

"Do you think it's cool for Liz to wear the American Flag as an article of clothing?"

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On this flag thing... Shitloads of celebs have clad themselves in the Star Spangled Banner. It's a long and sordid list, including such luminaries as: Richard Simmons, Evel Kneivel, Rosanne Barr, and pretty much every professional wrestler with a decent agent. So I would have to say that, short of maybe crotch-flossing herself with the thing, Liz is doing Old Glory a HUGE favor -- doing her best to balance a historically lopsided equation.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Vote YES on the Liz Phair Old Glory Crotch-Flossing referendum. It might well be our only hope to ever fully eradicate the mental picture of Richard Simmons and that God-forsaken, tortured bolt of star-spangled-spandex he foists upon the world in the form of a tank-top and shorts.

Plus it would make a nice segment for a Bars of the Bed video, or maybe even Hello Sailor, if done tastefully, of course, in slo-mo, with a couple fog machines singing back-up.

Very artsy

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about this flag thing.  Shitloads of celebs have clad themselves in the Star Spangled Banner.  It's a sordid list, including such luminaries as: Richard Simmons, Evel Knievel, Rosanne Barr, and pretty much any professional wrestler with a decent agent.  So I would have to say that, short of maybe, crotch-flossing with the thing, Liz is doing Old Glory a big favor, doing her best to balance a hopelessly lopsided equation.

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?  Vote YES for crotch-flossing.  It's might be our only hope to fully eradicate the mental image of Richard Simmons and that God-forsaken bolt of spandex, aka his star-spangled tanktop and shorts.

Plus it would work as a great segment for a Bars of the Bed video, or maybe Hello Sailor, if done tastefully, you know, in slo-mo, with a couple fog machines singing back-up.


On this flag thing...  Shitloads of celebs have clad themselves in the Star Spangled Banner.  It's a long and sordid list, including such luminaries as: Richard Simmons, Evel Kneivel, Rosanne Barr, and pretty much every professional wrestler with a decent agent.  So I would have to say that, short of maybe crotch-flossing herself with the thing, Liz is doing Old Glory a HUGE favor, doing her best to balance a hopelessly lopsided equation. 

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?  Vote YES on crotch-flossing.  It might well be our only hope to ever fully eradicate the mental picture of Richard Simmons and that God-forsaken, tortured bolt of star spangled spandex he foists upon the world in the form of a tank-top and shorts.

Plus it would work as a great segment for a Bars of the Bed video, or maybe Hello Sailor, if done tastefully, in slo-mo, with a couple fog machines singing back-up.  Very artsy.

Seriously.  She's so cool she could wear a beef jerky thong, and only slightly alter my opinion -- of beef jerky.



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Date: Wednesday 11th of October 2006 04:27:47 PM


Which reminds me of something off-topic, but funny.  I was drinking beer with some friends a few weeks back, and they were talking about a movie called